Did you know it's been over two years since I posted anything on here? Yeah me either.
There are many things I have learned in that two years. Like how to write so people can read it, or when the worst times to travel during the holidays are. But mostly I have experienced what it means to really love yourself.
Things just got REAL.
But it's true. How can you expect anyone to love you for who you are if you don't already do yourself? That's bogus! That's like saying, 'hey, I really think you'll love this new movie, you'll like it so much you'll want to open a joint bank account with it and spend Saturday in the park on the fourth of July together, but I haven't seen it and I don't actually know what it's all about'.
Inside you there are probably things you don't like. Maybe it's how you feel when met with an uncomfortable situation. Maybe it's what you do when you are feeling blue. Perhaps it's how many seasons of Smallville you own and/or illegally downloaded. Or if you are like me, it's all of these things. I could go on and on but no one likes a show off.
What I have found to be the most comforting, oddly, is how there is so very little I can do about it. It is important to strive to be better. It is important to learn, to grow, and to persist under difficult and trying times. But in my not so experienced or qualified view, it is less important to dwell on the why and focus more on the what and how.
Example: "Why did my best friend bail on me last minute?" *Long que of horrendous possibilities starts here.
Alternate: "I accept that there are many reasons why they bailed, but dwelling on all the possibilities wastes precious time that I could be spending binge watching 'Black Mirror' or trying to decide if various clickbait articles are worth further investigation."
In all honesty, I still have a hard time coming to a comforting reason why some things happen, but I have found that dwelling does little to no good. There are so many things in the bigger picture that are far more important or relevant.
If you can't think of anything in particular to be appeased or comforted by here are a few I tend to fall back on:
1. You are alive. Basic, but truly one of the most fabulously wonderful things that is true if you are able to have the thought.
2. You matter. There will come a time, or times, where you will be an essential piece in someone else's puzzle.
3. There is someone out there who just started watching Parks and Rec. (and some civil servant received their wings because of it)
4. It's very unlikely that Nickleback will make music again.
5. Adventure is always waiting. And not just with the strange things that are afoot at the Circle K.
6. Harry Potter
Focus on the good stuff.
Hint: You are the good stuff.
Is it unfair of me to ask you to see yourself and love what you see? Yes. It would also be a bit hypocritical. But what I can do is say that I know for a fact that we are always harder on ourselves than anyone else. And that in itself isn't fair. We are valued. We are people capable of 8-10% change. And for someone who is likely to live 29,200 days, that's a lot of opportunity and potential.
Why are there things we don't like about ourselves? Where did they come from? Our society? Our environment? Our experiences? All of the above? The real question is: Who am I without them?
Don't be like everyone else, because chances are at some point, someone else just wants to see what it would be like to be you. And why wouldn't they? You're fabulous.
Don't feel good about yourself because people say you should. Feel good about yourself because even though you may have qualms with the way things are, you took the time to read a friends, or strangers, opinion on why you should love yourself. Because if you are still reading this, you aren't the only one who does.